Chuck (charlesofcamden) wrote,

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Pregnancy: Mind Over Matter

How old was I? I don’t know exactly. It was sometime in late childhood, not long before a fellow child of my acquaintance explained where babies came from. He had only just had it explained to him and he was eager to share this remarkable information with others.

Aside #1 – He was reasonably accurate, if a tad unromantic, in his description of the physical positioning required to make babies, though as I recall, he capped it off by informing us that “…then the boy pees in the girl…” I hope for his sake that he got this all sorted out before he started dating…

But anyway, that moment of revelation hadn’t occurred yet on this particular day, as I sat pondering the mystery of conception. I tried to attack the problem in an orderly, logical manner. “Let’s start with what we know,” I thought. “First, we know that only married women have babies, not single women.”

Aside #2 – That should tell you what an exceptionally insulated world I grew up in. Even now, as I look back, I can’t recall anyone I’d have known in childhood who gave birth out of wedlock. I’m sure they were there, probably right in front of me at times, but I wasn’t aware of them.

So only married women had babies. A revolutionary concept began to form in my mind. There must be some sort of mind-body link going on here… the mere fact of knowing that one is married causes the body to produce babies! Fascinating! That this could only happen to adults, not children, was perfectly consistent with other observed differences, e.g., adults were bigger and stronger, adult men could grow facial hair, adult women were shaped differently than little girls… it was perfectly consistent that producing babies, like getting married, required the attainment of adulthood. But it was striking to me that these other adult traits appeared to happen of their own accord, while pregnancy required a specific conscious thought process in order to activate it. Well, they’d always said that knowledge was power; it seemed this might be part of what they’d meant.

Soon enough, a torrent of new information about sex, babies, and the world in general came along from myriad sources, followed not long after by the onset of my own adolescence. With all that to distract me, it was a long time before I thought back to my early forays into theoretical psychology.

Aside #3 – Since I had no knowledge of sex at the time, I likewise had no idea what The F Word referred to. It was plain from the way I’d heard it used that it was absolutely the dirtiest, nastiest word in the world. It therefore seemed logical that this word was A) a noun; and B) a synonym for “shit.” I was therefore unprepared for the derisive laughs I heard from the older kids when I told one of them to “Eat my fuck!”

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