August 2nd, 2006

Quill4

I heard the news today, oh boy . . .

While watching the news tonight, I saw a report on a man who had snatched his children from his ex-wife and taken off in his car with them. He is still being sought by authorities. It struck me that there are some advertising opportunities there that are going quite unexploited. I have taken the liberty of writing a sample news script that corrects this oversight. Perhaps I should send it to the folks at WGN-TV news and see if they’re ready for a new approach to TV news reporting:

“. . . police gave chase, but the suspect eluded them in his brand new Chrysler Sebring with 4-speed electronically controlled automatic transmission with overdrive and independent multi-link rear suspension. In other news, convicted serial killer Ronald James Leeworth was executed today in Elko, Nevada. His last meal included steak – it’s what’s for dinner – with Green Giant frozen corn and genuine Idaho potatoes. He topped it off with a delicious Sara Lee frozen cheesecake and a smooth El Producto cigar. The lethal injection used to end Leeworth’s life was provided by Merck Pharmaceuticals. Side effects include shortness of breath and cessation of all bodily functions. Do not attempt to drive or operate heavy machinery after lethal injection . . .”
  • Current Music
    A Day in the Life - The Beatles
Serling1

Book ’em Danno

OK, I’ve been tagged by meryddian. Here’s the job:

The Book meme:
1. Grab the nearest book. Don’t you dare dig for that “cool” or “intellectual” book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
2. Open the book to page 123, and find the fifth sentence.
3. Post the text of the next 4 sentences on your LJ along with these instructions.
4. Tag five people.

OK, I’ll play – but I’m going to change up item #4. I’m not going to tag anyone, but if anyone would like to voluntarily post their own results, that would be a grand and fine thing.

My book is Unsolved Mysteries by Colin Wilson with Damon Wilson. Here’s the excerpt:

Hugh Gray, an employee of the British Aluminum Company, was walking on a wooded bluff, fifty feet above the loch, near Foyers. He had seen the monster on a previous occasion, and was now carrying a camera. It was Sunday 12 November 1933, a sunny morning, and Gray sat down for a moment to look out over the loch. As he did so he saw the monster rising up out of the water, about two hundred yards away.
  • Current Music
    Puff the Magic Dragon - Peter, Paul & Mary