October 11th, 2007


Did Randy Johnson’s Teacher Ever Give This Assignment?

I want to offer a brief tribute here to Tony Carbone. No, no, he didn’t die – well, not that I know of. Heck, I haven’t seen Tony since grade school; I wouldn’t recognize him if I tripped over him. And truth be told, he and I were never close. But he has my eternal respect for the way he completed one particular assignment.

I believe Tony was, at the time of this assignment, a classmate of my brother Dan. The assignment was to design your own personal coat of arms. I think that most, if not all, of my seven siblings were given this assignment at one time or another during their scholastic careers. I can remember scratching my head for a long time trying to figure out what should go on mine, and I must confess I have absolutely no recollection of what I ended up doing. But I remember Tony’s. He broke his shield up into four quadrants and filled them with simple illustrations of the following four items: a toe, a knee, a car, and a bone – Tony Carbone! So far as I know, that was the summit of Tony’s academic accomplishments at St. Ignatius Elementary School. I am hard-pressed to name anyone else who could have done their coat of arms in a similar fashion – and retained any sense of dignity. Of course, various undignified candidates do come to mind.

Let’s see now . . . actress/writer Fannie Flagg could have taken that approach . . . race car driver Dick Trickle could have also done it . . . Dick Van Dyke too, for that matter.
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