Brain Cells on Parade

There are many ways to complete the following sentence. I offer a few here and welcome any additions to the list.

Ex-Governor Blagojevich saw his shadow today…

…and pointed out the similarity between his silhouette and Mahatma Gandhi’s.

…and it walked away from him.

…and solicited a bribe from it.

…which means six more weeks of appeals.

I received an email today with the subject line, “Give your cleavage a firm, youthful lift.” It included this graphic:

I just want to say this: Message received. I’m sure it was sent by some well-meaning friend who thought I needed to be told. If you wish to remain anonymous, that’s totally cool, but thanks for stepping up to the plate and getting the message across. I promise to look this over carefully and give it all due consideration.