Brain Cells on Parade

I’ve been wearing my Members Only® jacket for about 4 years now. That’s all. Just 4 years. Really. I bought it new from J.C. Penney. It looks like the one shown here, except mine is blue. So now that it’s gotten warm enough to transition from my winter coat to my Members Only® jacket, why am I having to take so much shit about it? Latest example: One of my fellow cast members saw it yesterday and simply said, “Chuck? The 80s called. They want their jacket back.”

All right, I’m no fashion plate; more of a fashion trough in fact. But I’m feeling as if I might walk into some happenin’ night spot, and someone will come up to me and say, “Whoa! Members Only! Very retro! Very cool!” And I’ll blow it by saying, “What do you mean? Oh, this. No, I’ve been wearing this since it was new.” And then they’ll wrinkle their nose as if something foul has just been wafted beneath their nostrils and walk away in search of people who are wearing the same clothes for more stylish reasons. They might even go straight to the bouncer and see if that uncouth fellow in the unfashionable jacket might be removed, lest the wrong element should begin to infiltrate their domain like flesh-eating bacteria.

Of course, I may be over-reacting.