Chuck (charlesofcamden) wrote,

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Be careful; it’s light out!

One of my coworkers could fairly be described as an inspiration to us all when it comes to exercise, diet, and stress reduction practices. She recently sent out an e-mail suggesting, among other things, that one should consider using the stairs rather than the elevator to travel between floors in the office. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable suggestion. I’m not saying that I’m going to give up the stairs entirely, but she’s not advocating some tree bark-eating weirdo lifestyle, just offering a few practical suggestions.

She received a lot of responses, most very favorable, but with one curious exception. The respondent asked that this business of using the stairs be discouraged, “…because we had someone here fall and injure themselves using the stairs…”

I am not sympathetic to the respondent’s point of view, not even a little. In fact, I’m this/close to calling the respondent an idiot, but I won’t (I will content myself with thinking it, though). But in the spirit of honoring their request, I would like to propose a few additional changes to the access and office utilization procedures: 

  • Post a sign on all stairwells reading, “Dangerous! Use only in emergency!”
  • I’ve seen far more people fall on flat surfaces than on stairs, so we should also post a sign on all floors and hallways reading, “Dangerous! Do not walk in office unless there is no alternative!”
  • We have a workout room in the office with various exercise options and devices. Do I really need to spell this one out? That has to be closed ASAP. There are about 50 different things that could go wrong there, so that room can’t be good for anybody.
  • Surveys have shown that sedentary lifestyles lead to all sorts of increased health risks. Since it is not safe to sit at one’s desk, and as stated above, not safe to move around, we should close the office entirely and have everyone work from home. Their children will thank us.

Okay, I think I’ve vented enough sarcasm for now. One other thing though – about the title of this post – I want the respondent to be careful about going outdoors when it’s light out, because they might see their shadow and get a nasty fright!

Later edit – I myself fell down some stairs and as a result had to be briefly hospitalized a few years back, so I would never deny the potential danger of a staircase, nor would I deny the danger of living one's life and trying to give it some value and quality!


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