This was our ride today – yes, that’s a stretch Hummer. By the way, I decided today that if I ever become a porn star, my professional name will be Stretch Hummer.
But let me tell you about the beads – We had to sit in our waiting area on Halsted Street for a few hours waiting for our slot in the parade to come up. At one point, the side door of the Hummer opened and 3 strangers were standing there – one pleasant looking young woman and two, well, very gay looking guys (I know – who would’ve thought we’d run into anyone like that today?). They initially just wanted to look around the interior of the vehicle, but then Sister Terry noticed the many strands of beads they had around their necks and asked if she could have some. “Well, what are you going to show us in return?” asked the woman.
Sister Terry wasn’t sure how to respond, so the woman went on. “Look, I’m straight, OK? Look at this!” – and out came her boobs.
I will quote Sister Terry, who said these words after the trio had departed: “Nice areolas, nice shape, but kind of small.” Hey, her words, not mine.
Well, even after this display, Sister Terry was still hesitant to reciprocate directly, so she quickly turned toward me and began to unbutton my black priest shirt. In a spirit of tit-for-tat, I pulled back my shirt and displayed my left breast to them, and the two men responded by screaming repeatedly and throwing handfuls of bead chains at us. The three then departed, leaving Sister and I to divvy up our booty.
I love this picture! Y’see, there are always protesters at this parade. They are mostly confined to this stretch of Diversey near the end of the parade route, and they can get pretty abusive on their bullhorns. This year, though, you can see the new wrinkle – the pro-gay people positioned themselves right in front of the protesters and kept them mostly drowned out. I suppose you could make an argument that their freedom of speech and right to dissent were being compromised, but at this particular moment, I am not inclined to debate constitutional rights, at least as they apply to this group of narrow-minded, mean-spirited people.
This is Michael Just (Tina’s ex-boyfriend who crashes the wedding), Tony, Tony’s father (Tony Sr.), Father Mark.
This Tina is great with kids and she had this little girl in the palm of her hand!
These two girls kept skating up and down Halsted and they seemed to capture some of the essence of today’s festivities, so I asked them to stop skating for a moment to pose for me.
Two of our groomsmen. I just want to point out that this is NOT how they dress for the actual show, but for the Pride Parade, we make a few adjustments.
Sister Terry and Tina getting into the spirit of things.
Connie (pregnant bridesmaid) and Maddie (stripper girlfriend of Tony’s dad. SHE was popular today!)
The couple in the foreground are NOT a part of our show. They came along and SO wanted to be photographed with our group, so we obliged!