One of the characters in Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding is Tina’s cousin Terry, who has just become a nun – Sister Albert Maria. There was a woman who used to play Terry who left the show a while ago; I’ll refer to her by her initials, JF. When she first went up as Terry, she asked me if I would write a rap song for her to perform in the course of the show. I dutifully complied, but for various reasons, the rap was never used. It has always gotten a good reaction when I’ve performed it for cast members, so I thought I would I offer it here for your edification. I’m not sure how well it reads; you might want to rap it out loud for yourself.
Sister Terry Rap
Well I got myself a habit and I got a cross
And a Mother Superior to be my boss
Got a bed in the convent that’s as hard as rock
All my worldly possessions now I had to hock
Now I’m livin’ in the convent with the other sisters
And we’re prayin’ night and day until our knees got blisters
So I strive while I’m alive to live just like a saint
Sister got her a stigmata but so far I ain’t
Gonna drink the holy vino while I eat the host
And I pray to the Father, Son and Holy Ghost
Take an arrow to the marrow like Saint Anthony
Take it harder like a martyr, hallelujah take me!
So when you say your nightly prayers say a word for me
Set a goal to save a soul, I’ll sing a psalm for thee!
Yeah, it’s a little far afield from my usual stuff, but sometimes you just gotta break out a little!