Chuck (charlesofcamden) wrote,

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(Key)Chain of Fools

This is my primary key ring. It set me back $1.99 at the hardware store. It gets the job done, efficiently and without complaint. It’s even therapeutic, what with that sunny smiley face to cheer me up while allowing me to tacitly admit that I traversed the 1970s.

Now let’s have a look at how they carry their keys uptown. This sleek baby is made out of solid nickel, giving it a pleasing heft in one’s hand. In fact, the label tells me that this is not even a key ring at all, no sirree – this here is a “key fob,” thank you very much. It came from Neiman-Marcus, I’ll have you know. CC, who as you may recall is a fashion instructor here in Chicago, attended a fashion show the other day at the Neiman-Marcus store on the Magnificent Mile of Michigan Avenue. Every attendee received a goodie bag filled with all sorts of useless, albeit normally expensive, items. CC offered me various items from that bag when she got home, and while I took a pass on the butt-ugly tie (which I will not deign to depict here), I leapt at this little bauble.

The label is a little hard to read in this picture, but please note that the list price for this item is $22.00. But you know what? My keys are worth it. They’ve been mighty good to me; it’s about time I was good to them. Maybe I can’t buy style and class. But I can sure let someone who doesn’t want it hand it to me.

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